Radio Silence

I just realized that I haven't posted in awhile.  So sorry!

I don't have much to update really.

I've told you all about the dentist trips.  I don't go back until September.  For the other half of my deep root cleaning.  I'm actually looking forward to it, as messed up as that sounds.  My teeth are still stain free!!!

I'm at a reading impasse.  I'm at 36 books.  The book I'm reading now is part of a series and I really liked the first book but I'm not digging the second one as much.  So, I think that's why I'm not reading like a crazy person.  I'm determined to make it through this book because I love this author and I really like how she writes.

I've applied for a few part time jobs and nothing has panned out.  That's a little discouraging.  But, I'm trying not to get discouraged.  I'm sure more will come up around the holidays.  (I just hate retail so much.)

I'm still listening to my Prepper PodCast.  I started one today about surviving a Nuclear disaster.  It talks about Chernobyl.  (Which I still recommend on HBO!  It's so good!)  Prepping brings me a lot of peace.  I can't explain it.  I know I'm kind of a nerd about it but I do feel good when I do it.  I've found myself adding a few things to my groceries when I get them. (Walmart pick up for the win!)  Things like canned goods, water, etc.  And I got a new "get home" bag last week that is sturdy and in my car!  And it's my favorite color (orange) which makes me double happy.

Things are very stressful at work.  I haven't discussed it with anyone (and I likely won't) but it's starting to show in my body.  This weekend I had a horrible headache and I'm having spasms in the back part of my head.

I did end up going to the Little Clinic yesterday and I have the start of an ear infection (what the hell?) and the nurse said my headache could be from that or it's the tension I'm carrying in my shoulders/neck area.  It woke me up early Monday morning and I felt like absolute dirt most of yesterday.  I slept better last night (I went to bed super early) and my head doesn't hurt as bad today. Stress is a killer.

Lynn will be visiting in a few weeks so I need to get my spare room cleaned up.  I'm a bit stressed about that. I have a bunch of crafting stuff that it just taking up space.  I need to get rid of half the crap that's in there. I have this weekend to get it done.

I've fallen off my diet wagon.  I've gained back 3 pounds.  But, oh well!  I'm not going to stress about it.  I'll just go back to eating better.

I'm trying super hard not to be down in the dumps.  I'm very stressed and the reaction my body has had (while it shouldn't be surprising) it kind of freaking me out.  I'm usually better at managing stress.

I guess I had more to update then I thought.  You guys still out there?  :)

Dentist

Who else is afraid of the dentist?  Are you afraid like I am?  Like, almost having a panic attack going?

Yes, I do almost have a panic attack!  It's really ridiculous.  Yesterday, I had to have a tooth pulled.  I thought I'd be fine, I went in thinking this won't be so bad.  By the end, I had to sit in the chair (with his assistant watching me) until my legs stopped shaking.  I, literally, cried the entire time he was in the room.

My dentist is the worlds nicest man.  He's never made me feel bad about my teeth.  He explains everything.  He's very gentle.  I just have a melt down every time I go there.

So, my tooth is now gone (you can't see it unless I show you) and I have this giant open wound in my mouth.  And I really did almost have a panic attack yesterday.  I was crying (silently because his big hands were in my mouth) and shaking so hard.  I did the 5-4-3-2-1 coping thing (for anxiety) and it seemed to help some. It really helped when I was able to get the hell out of there.

Not much else to report really.  It's been fairly status quo.

I'm up to 33 books out of 50.  (Granted, I will admit, I did not finish one of them.  It was terrible.  I made it to chapter 21 (they were short chapters) and called it.)  I'm very excited about that.  I haven't read this much in yeaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrssssssssss.

My prepping (for the dreaded zombie apocalypse) is going well.  For some reason, I find it very calming and I feel so relieved when I've done something.  On Amazon Prime day, I found an ahhh-mazing deal on Life Straws so I was able to get those.  I've been wanting them!  Do you guys think I'm a lunatic?  I have a small corner in my bedroom that's full of supplies and water.  And a backpack in my car.  I'm not done but I feel like I've made a really good start.

I'm down 9 pounds.  I'm VERY excited about that.  But, after having my tooth pulled, I have to be on mostly soft foods for a few days so I might not eat the best (cottage cheese! and mashed potatoes!).  I'm being a big wimp about this tooth pull but oh well.  I'm allowed.

It's hotter then the surface of the sun here.  Seriously, it feels like a sweaty armpit outside that's a million degrees.  So, I'm sure I'll be reading more this weekend.

Any book recommendations?

I don't really feel that my depression or anxiety is really any better or any worse.  I had a moment a few nights ago where I cried for awhile but I got over it.  I guess, the best I can.  I'm still constantly tired.  And I can't figure out why.  It doesn't seem to matter when I go to bed, I'm tired.

I've had a few days of really bad fibro pain this week as well.  I wish I could get that under control.  My hips hurt so bad on Wednesday, I was almost in tears.

It's been a not so great week but you'll have that.

Is anyone still reading?  :)

Stay cool!

Post weekend update

Why is it so hot?  I mean, honestly.  Why does it feel like you're going to melt the moment you step outside?

I'd really like to move someplace it's 75 every day.  Does such place exist?

Anywho, this weekend was fun!  All things Stranger Things and hanging out with my girlies.  We had our usual Target/Starbucks trip before starting the fun.  (It's tradition that when we're together, we Target it up!)  I got some new pajamas that are super comfy.  We listened to 80's music and had Taco Bell (which was very retro though it's Taco Bell.)

We watched 4 episodes before breaking for a long trek to the mall and then pizza for dinner.  YUM!!  We watched 2 more episodes before crashing out into dreams about monsters and the upside down.  It was a lot of fun.  We had cookies too!  We never got around to eating our Eggo's but we had plenty of cookies, Coke and pizza to full us up!

Yesterday, I cleaned up my car and then lounged around with my kitties.  (After having a minor heat stroke from pulling a few things from my car and cleaning the windows.  It legit took me an hour to stop sweating)

I completed my reading challenge of 25 books!  That's exciting and made me feel really accomplished.  I've bumped it up for 50 for the year.  Let's see if I can do it!

I didn't lose any weight from last week but considering how much crap junk I ate over the weekend, that's okay.  I didn't gain either!  Holding steady at 8 pounds lost!!! I'll work on doing better this week.

I plan to clean more/purge this weekend.  It's almost too hot to be outside.  So spending the weekend purging and cleaning sounds good actually.  My goal is to work on my spare room.  Then I'll feel like I'm done.

Small goals.  My sister keeps harping (love you) on setting goals for myself so I've been doing that with my cleaning/purging, weight loss and reading challenge.  It feels REALLY good to cross things off my list.

I've also been packing my lunch (for work) and eating at home, to help with my money stuff.  That's a big goal with small steps right now.

I started doing something else that I'm a little embarrassed to talk about.  It seems silly to talk about and I've been getting a lot of strange looks from a few friends (mostly people at work that hear us talk about it.)  I've been prepping.

Does anyone else do this?  I've noticed over the past few weeks, it's become kind of an obsession of sorts.  The guys at work are really big into prepping and I guess a "girl" has joined the band wagon.  I have a small stash at home and I made a BOB (bug out bag) for my car.  It's more like an emergency kit in case I'm stranded somewhere.

I found a pod cast called Casual Preppers that is super informative and makes me feel less crazy.  I've listened to 4 shows so far and it feels like I'm on the right track.  I'll never be one of those people who has a underground bunker (though...how cool would that be?) or gas masks....but it makes me feel good to know that I'm preparing myself in case SHTF (shit hits the fan) or I need to be prepared for no power or whatever due to natural stuff.  The 2 earthquakes in California scared me to death (my good friend Yoda (that's my nickname for him), is fine!) and they say tornado valley is shifting again, more towards Ohio.  Which, I think we all can see that since Dayton was slammed so hard at the end of May.

Thoughts on this?  Does anyone else do this?  Any suggestions?  I'm really not crazy.  I promise. I would also like to point out that this is my friend Sarah Jo's fault.  She started this crazy train and I just purchased the ticket.

I feel good people.  For the first time in awhile.  I'm trying to ride this emotion for as long as I can.