Radio Silence

I just realized that I haven't posted in awhile.  So sorry!

I don't have much to update really.

I've told you all about the dentist trips.  I don't go back until September.  For the other half of my deep root cleaning.  I'm actually looking forward to it, as messed up as that sounds.  My teeth are still stain free!!!

I'm at a reading impasse.  I'm at 36 books.  The book I'm reading now is part of a series and I really liked the first book but I'm not digging the second one as much.  So, I think that's why I'm not reading like a crazy person.  I'm determined to make it through this book because I love this author and I really like how she writes.

I've applied for a few part time jobs and nothing has panned out.  That's a little discouraging.  But, I'm trying not to get discouraged.  I'm sure more will come up around the holidays.  (I just hate retail so much.)

I'm still listening to my Prepper PodCast.  I started one today about surviving a Nuclear disaster.  It talks about Chernobyl.  (Which I still recommend on HBO!  It's so good!)  Prepping brings me a lot of peace.  I can't explain it.  I know I'm kind of a nerd about it but I do feel good when I do it.  I've found myself adding a few things to my groceries when I get them. (Walmart pick up for the win!)  Things like canned goods, water, etc.  And I got a new "get home" bag last week that is sturdy and in my car!  And it's my favorite color (orange) which makes me double happy.

Things are very stressful at work.  I haven't discussed it with anyone (and I likely won't) but it's starting to show in my body.  This weekend I had a horrible headache and I'm having spasms in the back part of my head.

I did end up going to the Little Clinic yesterday and I have the start of an ear infection (what the hell?) and the nurse said my headache could be from that or it's the tension I'm carrying in my shoulders/neck area.  It woke me up early Monday morning and I felt like absolute dirt most of yesterday.  I slept better last night (I went to bed super early) and my head doesn't hurt as bad today. Stress is a killer.

Lynn will be visiting in a few weeks so I need to get my spare room cleaned up.  I'm a bit stressed about that. I have a bunch of crafting stuff that it just taking up space.  I need to get rid of half the crap that's in there. I have this weekend to get it done.

I've fallen off my diet wagon.  I've gained back 3 pounds.  But, oh well!  I'm not going to stress about it.  I'll just go back to eating better.

I'm trying super hard not to be down in the dumps.  I'm very stressed and the reaction my body has had (while it shouldn't be surprising) it kind of freaking me out.  I'm usually better at managing stress.

I guess I had more to update then I thought.  You guys still out there?  :)

Dentist - Part 2

I went back to the dentist on Wednesday for a "deep gum" cleaning.  And I DID NOT CRY!!!!  Read it again, I DID NOT CRY.  I took some anxiety medicine and went to my appointment.  The root cleaning wasn't as bad as I thought it would be which was nice.  The dental hygienist has kind of adopted me and she's so amazing.  She took some stains off my teeth that I was SUPER self conscience about.

My teeth are clean! I have no stains!  This lifted my self esteem so much!!!  Monica (the hygienist) was very excited about it.  My dentist, Dr. Erik, said my gums look better, my extraction site is healing nicely and I go back in September.

It was a great visit!  Very big accomplishment for me!  I'm proud of myself.

I'm a little ashamed to say that I fell off the diet wagon this week but I don't even care.  It's been a rough week (work) and I like to eat comfort foods when I'm stressed and hurting.

My fibro however, is out of control.  I've been in pain at least 3-4 days this week and today is awful.  I'm grumpy and just want to go back home.

I'm struggling through.  Depression is bad lately but that's not new and you guys are probably really tired of hearing about that.

I'm 35 books into 50!  Super proud about that too!

Not much else to report.  Just the usual stuff.  Work, home, sleep, work, home, sleep, lather, rinse, repeat.  :)

I hope you all are still reading!

Dentist

Who else is afraid of the dentist?  Are you afraid like I am?  Like, almost having a panic attack going?

Yes, I do almost have a panic attack!  It's really ridiculous.  Yesterday, I had to have a tooth pulled.  I thought I'd be fine, I went in thinking this won't be so bad.  By the end, I had to sit in the chair (with his assistant watching me) until my legs stopped shaking.  I, literally, cried the entire time he was in the room.

My dentist is the worlds nicest man.  He's never made me feel bad about my teeth.  He explains everything.  He's very gentle.  I just have a melt down every time I go there.

So, my tooth is now gone (you can't see it unless I show you) and I have this giant open wound in my mouth.  And I really did almost have a panic attack yesterday.  I was crying (silently because his big hands were in my mouth) and shaking so hard.  I did the 5-4-3-2-1 coping thing (for anxiety) and it seemed to help some. It really helped when I was able to get the hell out of there.

Not much else to report really.  It's been fairly status quo.

I'm up to 33 books out of 50.  (Granted, I will admit, I did not finish one of them.  It was terrible.  I made it to chapter 21 (they were short chapters) and called it.)  I'm very excited about that.  I haven't read this much in yeaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrssssssssss.

My prepping (for the dreaded zombie apocalypse) is going well.  For some reason, I find it very calming and I feel so relieved when I've done something.  On Amazon Prime day, I found an ahhh-mazing deal on Life Straws so I was able to get those.  I've been wanting them!  Do you guys think I'm a lunatic?  I have a small corner in my bedroom that's full of supplies and water.  And a backpack in my car.  I'm not done but I feel like I've made a really good start.

I'm down 9 pounds.  I'm VERY excited about that.  But, after having my tooth pulled, I have to be on mostly soft foods for a few days so I might not eat the best (cottage cheese! and mashed potatoes!).  I'm being a big wimp about this tooth pull but oh well.  I'm allowed.

It's hotter then the surface of the sun here.  Seriously, it feels like a sweaty armpit outside that's a million degrees.  So, I'm sure I'll be reading more this weekend.

Any book recommendations?

I don't really feel that my depression or anxiety is really any better or any worse.  I had a moment a few nights ago where I cried for awhile but I got over it.  I guess, the best I can.  I'm still constantly tired.  And I can't figure out why.  It doesn't seem to matter when I go to bed, I'm tired.

I've had a few days of really bad fibro pain this week as well.  I wish I could get that under control.  My hips hurt so bad on Wednesday, I was almost in tears.

It's been a not so great week but you'll have that.

Is anyone still reading?  :)

Stay cool!