Forgivness

So, today something happened that I never, ever thought would happen....

Let's flash back a few years ago.  There was a horrible situation here at work, between me and someone I thought was my friend.  Something happened (I honestly have NO idea what it was, promise) and this person who I had been friends with for over 5 years, flipped on me.  Suddenly, we were not longer friends and this person turned most of my department against me.

It was like stepping into an episode of Mean Girls.  No lie.  I felt (and was) very isolated and alone but I kept my head down and did my job.  It was a terrible time for me. 

As you all know, my dad passed away (almost) 3 years ago.  My brother and I were unable to bury my father so money was raised online and at my job.  This person gave a significant amount of money towards the burial of my dad.  I was really stunned by the gift.  My first instinct was to not take the money but my boss/friend convinced me to just take it and bury my dad. 

Flash forward a little more time; this person is moved out of my department.  Huge sigh of relief. 

There was an understanding.  We were nice and polite to each other but kept our respectable distances, her on her side of the floor, me on mine.

Present day:
About a week ago, I got word that her brother was involved in a very brutal beating in her hometown.  I won't go into all the details but it was really "iffy" if her brother would make it through this truly horrific crime.

I was heartbroken for her.  Her and her family.  I can't imagine something happening like this to anyone in my family.  I knew a fundraiser has been placed online to help cover medical expenses and I immediately wrote a check and walked it over to her desk.

I think she was stunned.  She thanked me and left the next morning to go home.

Every night since she's left, I've lit a white candle (for healing) for her brother.  I've kept tabs on updates through a mutual friend (I'm blocked on Facebook). 

The latest update on her brother was that he is off the ventilator, awake and communicating (somewhat) with his family.  She got to fly home yesterday after being able to hug her brother and have him hug her back!  Just a short week ago, they weren't sure he'd even make it through.

This morning, I actually spoke with her.  I made it clear to her that no matter what our differences were, I was here if she needed me and to please reach out for anything at all.  She got tears in her eyes and hugged me.  She said she already knew I'd help and that I'm one of the few who would understand what she was going through.

This was a HUGE moment for me.  HUGE.  I never ever thought we'd get here.  And while we're not friends again...or anything close to how we were, I felt this piece of my heart just heal.  I don't know how to explain it.  I felt really emotional suddenly (we were both holding back tears) and just relieved that it was over. 

I'm not this amazing forgiving person.  At least, I don't think so.  But when I care about you and consider you my friend/framily...that doesn't just stop.  I will try to always be the bigger person and be there for others when I can.  (Sometimes, at the expense of myself....)


I'm not looking for any type of recognition here.  I don't want anyone to think I'm showboating either.  The moral of this story is that life is SUPER DUPER short.  And we never know when people need us.  Or what they're going through or dealing with.  While we may never repair our friendship, she knows I'd help her if she needed it, no matter what.  And that could have healed something in her as well.

Forgiveness is healing.  A small part of me, healed today.