Is it spring yet?

So, it’s been more than a hot minute since I blogged and I’m sorry…. Sort of. 

It’s been a rough one.  But, I feel like it’s always a “rough one.” 

The holidays are a HORRIBLE time for me so getting through them was about all I could do.  I honestly just tried to keep my head up and push through, like I always do.  I didn’t even think about blogging.  (Okay, so that’s a small lie.)

Now, the holidays are over and I’m here.  Things are …. Better.  Sort of. 

I haven’t been reading as much but I met my goal last year of 70 books so that’s fun!

I had my gall bladder taken out in December.  I kept it super low key and just plowed through that as well.  I’m having minor side effects but I’m still slowly introducing foods.  I can’t handle coffee which BREAKS MY HEART and I’m not sure how to get around it.  The surgery went swimmingly well and I had no problems besides dreams about my stomach exploding and super swelling.  I lost 6 pounds so that makes me happy.  But, can I mention how MUCH I MISS COFFEE?????  SO MUCH!!!  Any suggestions?

Oh, and I have problems pooping but no one wants to hear that here.

My birthday came and went, very unexciting.  I was recovering from surgery and feeling sorry for myself.

I don’t really have much else to report.  Still struggling with the struggle.  My depression is better I think but my anxiety is much worse.  I’m all up in my head, all of the time.  Today is a bad, bad day.  I cried on the way to work and then cried again once at work.  I had ice cream for lunch.  I tend to hurt my own feelings (who knew?) a lot when I have high expectations.  I set these expectations and when they don’t come true (I’m not sure how else to say it.), I get all hurt and in my head about it. 

I just want to be normal.  Or, whatever normal is.  I want what everyone else has, but then I have to tell myself that not everything is shiny and as pretty as it appears on social media.  I know there are people out there that would like my life, that I complain about.

The cats are fat and still sassy.  I keep telling myself that I need to cut back on the treats but they are just so dang cute (and demanding). 

I’ve been on the prepping train a lot lately too.  (For those of you who do not know what this is….I’ll gladly inform you hahaha).  It makes me feel somewhat in control and calm.  However, it’s become a bit of an obsession which is never a good thing.  And with the new kung flu crap….I’ve been on overload lately.

The weather in Ohio is KILLING me.  Dreary, cold and rainy for WEEKS.  I’m sure that’s not helping my anxiety/depression.  My doctor has recommended vitamin D which I’ve been taking a few weeks now and it’s not helping.

I cannot get up in the morning to save my life.  Any suggestions on this?  Everyone says it’s the coffee withdraw but it’s been like 2 months now. 

My fibromyalgia is under control, mostly.  I’ve not had any “cake” since my last blog.  Not that it was helping anyway. 

I think that’s about it for now.  I hope all you wonderful readers (all three of you) are doing fantastic.  I’ll try to be better about blogging and sharing my journey!